In Memory: Rick Coffee

I think the best way to start this is how Rick would start almost everyday of his life, GAWWWWHHHHH. Everything that I am going to say today comes from conversations that Rick and I have had over the past 12 years. One of the greatest tragedies in life is that you will always be loved more than you will ever know. Someone in your class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you've only exchanged a few words with them or maybe none at all. Someone on the street loves your smile and it brightens their path for the next few blocks. Someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. Someone who regularly comes to work is disappointed when you aren't there to brighten their day. Someone missed you. Someone noticed when you were gone. Someone loves you when you're there, someone loves you when you're nowhere to be found at all. You may think you have disappeared when you're no longer in the picture, but you've never left the frame.

To me, life is one of those beautifully tragic things. You look in those moments at where you are and where you could have been and what you could have been and realized that you were always where you were supposed to be, being who you were supposed to be. I cannot imagine a life without meeting Rick Coffee. Our story is one of those that should have been written down at some point or another, so I figured today I'll tell the story of how our journey began. I had just moved back to Lynchburg after dealing with some issues after my first year of college. I had been searching to find where I belonged, who I was to belong to and where I was supposed to be. I walked into Ricks shop to get an outfit to interview for the Mercedes dealership here in town. Rick wasn't there; he was at market buying the “beautiful things.” I remember a week after that , after not getting the job, I walked in and said,  “Mr. Coffee I would love to work for you.” He looked at me dead in the face, in true Rick fashion with that subtle grin and said, “Sorry, we're not hiring at the moment, But check back. I came back every week for three months until finally he called me and said you can work for me over Christmas. I don’t know if it was because I was starting to annoy him or if he needed some help. But either way I never left. If I hadn't had that chance, I don't know where I'd be.  You work with someone eight hours a day six days a week and you truly get to know them and what and who they care about, but

The main thing that Rick taught me is to always choose to care. That the little things in life are the most valuable. Choose to stay messy hearted in a world that may not always be kind to you. Choose to do whatever you have to do to make it to tomorrow; Choose to get up in the morning when you do not want to, choose to face what is scared within you, just work every single day to be gentle and soft with yourself even when you have been given every reason to harden. Choose to believe in something hopeful; Choose to feel everything intensely and do not apologize for your strengths, your hope, or the way you slam yourself into the human beings you meet. Choose to be kind.

The hardest part about all of this is understanding that everything happens for a reason. Everything. Your highs. Your lows. Your happiest moments and the most painful ones. Your failures and your successes. Your losses and your gains. I think the one thing to remember is that people can't come in and out of your life for no reason. The lessons you learn and the growth you experience is never spontaneous. It's always meant to be. There is a higher purpose. A goal. A final destination, or a peak in your journey that you will have no idea of until you reach it. But for that, you need to climb the mountain. For that you need to look for a deeper meaning. For that you need to pay attention to everything and everyone around you, especially those that love you and the ones that leave you. There are some lessons that only people in their existence can give you, there are lessons that only pain can bring out. And there are some lessons that you never knew were lessons until they walked out of your life. Think about it, only then will you stop treating your growth as an accident and start appreciating it as the most beautiful journey created by God, just for you.

I think that we can all agree that when it came to Rick Coffee, he did exactly what he was called to do. Every time you walk into our store, every time that you're wearing a piece of our garments, every time that you think about what you should wear and how it would match. I pray that you think of Rick Coffee and his face and him shaking his head in disapproval. I pray that you think of the dedication and the time and the energy that this man put into making everyone that he met more valued than himself, more beautiful. Rick always made fun of me for saying that something was pretty. But the fact is that it was and is and will continue to be, pretty. I also pray that you realize that this isn't easy. That business isn't easy, that struggling to find oneself in something that is beautifully created and curated is tough. But Rick did that, every day of his life he came in with the effort to make someone else feel more confident about themselves. The number of stories I’ve heard of his generosity and his kindness only make me more humbled to have had him. When all is said and done, Rick would always say that we aren't salesman. And I firmly believe that, I believe that we are much more than somebody that you will visit because you have to buy something. I believe that with the legacy that Rick has created, we will continue to understand what it means to serve, what it means to be a person that is willing to go the extra mile for whoever they meet. Now, I am the candle bearer of this. His sons, are the candle bearers of this. And honestly, this honor is not lost on me. I will continue the legacy of confidence, and I will continue the ideologies of what it means to be a clothier. I'll continue to carry out the ideologies of what it means to be a friend. What it means to be a father figure, one day. And what it means to be a mentor. Like I said earlier, I don't know where I would have been if Rick hadn't given me a chance. We both needed each other and I'm so glad that the paths that led us to everything and from everyone brought us together when we both needed it most. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and your intuition. Like Rick always did. Those factors somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else in life is secondary. Warren Buffet has a great quote about the relationship he and his business partner Charlie had. He would always say “Charlie is the architect; I’m just the general contractor.” The same quote is for us. “Rick was the architect; I’m just the general contractor.”

Thank you,

James “Jimmy” Bower Jr.